Probably like many of you reading this, I’m a bit overwhelmed this week with all that circles on social media. But if that’s the worst feeling I feel today, I know that I am incredibly lucky. I’ll attempt not to sound trite here, but I’m really struggling to write these past few days. Anything that emerges out of my brain, through my fingertips and onto the screen in front of me feels beyond trivial given the news we’re all seeing about the Israel-Gaza war and the horrific stories of human loss that are emerging from it.
With that in mind, and not knowing what else to do or say (from a place of total confusion and a lack of knowledge on my part) the only thing I have done is donate to an impartial organisation calling for peace in the region and helping victims on both sides of any armed conflict, the International Red Cross. If you’d like to donate, you can here.
I’ll work away with this week’s piece anyway, in spite of it all, because I literally don’t know enough about what’s going on to give any sort of commentary. And even if I felt like I knew a lot, commentary coming from the safe, comfortable home I’m privileged enough to be in at the minute is the last thing anyone needs.
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Just because you wake up at 5am doesn’t make you better than me.
There, I said it.
I’ve long since tired of the internet and its nuanceless citizens telling me I am an abject failure if I don’t get up before the sun rises. I “should”, apparently, wake up at 5am and spend 15 minutes journaling, followed by some stretching and quiet time to set my intention for the day.
Guys. My intention is always, always to stay in bed for as long as life will allow. I will stretch, yes. Stretch my sleep duration out as much as I can. And I will occasionally journal upon waking, but only to write down the details of the dream where I slipped Louis Theroux the tongue for a dare, while riding a bike along the M50. Absolutely none of this happens at 5am.
If I was to take the TikTok route, I’d have to drop my knife and fork, mid-meal, and get into bed during dinner. Then a few hours later, I’d get up in the literal middle of the night. This seems bananas to me and I’m afraid at this point I must dissent.
Before we get into things, I’m absolutely not saying early risers are in the wrong here – I’m simply saying both ways of living have their own unique benefits. That said, when I’m king, I intend to bring in harsh, unreasonably punitive measures for those who promote early rising.
Until then, here is my manifesto for Night Owlery.
The circadian conspiracy
ERs (early risers) seem to be of the opinion that our circadian rhythm is the empirical evidence they need that they’re in the right.