The beauty products I would never, ever use again

The antithesis of the last post, these are the products I was (grievously) let down by

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But WHY? Why are they so (subjectively) bad?

PRODUCT NO1 (I’m gonna name them below, but I want to see if anyone can guess first as I describe!)

This went viral, and I was sucked in by the virality and the marketing and the lovely packaging. I should’ve known better than to become a slave to Big Beauty and the lip balm-fuelled capitalist society we live in. I got got.

Another thing I’m particular about, it takes a lot to impress me when it comes to a lip product. Shania Twain found rotting, etc. I have been through them ALL, and things I do not like are: Too much slip, too little slip, a grainy texture, too much scent, too little scent, a bad scent, no staying power, parched lips post-use, a sticky feeling… The list goes on.

This had so much slip that I felt like I was literally drooling onto the lower part of my face. It lasted, oh, about 13.8 seconds. And after I used it once, my lips craved it. Not because it was brilliant, but because the humectant wasn’t humecting enough and the occlusive was occlusiving too hard. I’ve used a desperate amount of poetic licence in the way I’ve adapted those terms so pls 4give x

PRODUCT NO2

I WANTED to love this. I loved that it was cheap, I could get it handily in Boots… I loved the packaging and so I gave it a good go. I really did. I used almost the whole bottle thinking: Am I missing something here? But alas, no. I am quite particular about my texture sprays (given the absolute wanton and inexcusable silkiness of my flat, fine, flat, flat hair) and this one ticked a grand total of zero boxes.