I had something written to go live today and it was shiiiiite (I just read over it a few minutes ago) so instead of boring you with that, I’ll expose you instead to the absolute nonsense scrapings from the inside of my brain in the form of a list of *THOUGHTS* I’ve had recently. These are ones that I’ve noted down that aren’t big enough or meaningful enough for a full post each.
Please jesus do let me know in the comments if you feel any of these as strongly as I do. I’m dying for a comment chat to break out so I can chime in.
“PIECES”
WHEN did we all start referring to items of clothing or handbags or interiors or ANYTHING as ‘pieces’? Why is the influencing internet obsessed with this word? “I bought a few of their pieces” “I own a couple of pieces from there” – I’m sorry, WHAT? Why? Just say ‘things’ ‘bits’ ‘stuff’.
There are so many available words that don’t make you sound like an Old Etonian who’s shopping for antiques with their great aunt Gwendolyn. See also the words ‘newness’ (not a word) ‘price point’ (JUST SAY PRICE) and ‘blooms’ instead of flowers. There are precious few people I’ll accept any of the above from.
SOME PERSONAL NEWS
No, you guys, I don’t have any personal news to share. My gripe is with the phrase itself, when used in a non-ironic, non-sarcastic way. The first 20 people who did it, fine. FINE. It wasn’t the most insincere and awkward phrase on earth back then. But now it is, so go ahead there, reinvent the wheel! Think of another opening sentence for when you’ve something exciting and personal to share. Here are some options, courtesy of moi.
“I GOT A NEW JOB!”
“I’m about to announce something huge here, lads. Ears open.”
“Guess the F what?”
“Wyoming has me now!”
Literally, go off. Do whatever. Just don’t ‘some personal news’ me ever again.